GretchenChristine

04/26/2012

Always Honest, even if it hurts sometimes

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Sorry in advance because my emotions are flowing and I can tell this blog is going to be long! I have a lot I want to address from this episode and am not sure if a blog is the best place but I’m going to just put it all out there.

It’s important that I address one reoccurring question right out the door; people keep asking why we all have harsh things to say about one another all the time on the show and I completely agree because I know it is draining on all of us ladies, however please remember this show is about having an opinion about the others, good, bad, or ugly.   We might all delivery that information differently but at the end of the day if we choose to be a part of this show we have to have an opinion.  Although I know sometimes it sucks for both you and I watching!

Ok, so forgive me in advance for this long rant, but since a lot of you have asked questions about this situation with Alexis I will address all the questions here.  First off, no matter what I am sorry that I hurt Alexis’ feelings because that was never my intention.  I will explain my true intentions here. First of all I must say I think Alexis is beyond super sensitive to anything I say or do anymore because of my new found friendship with Tamra.  She claims in this episode before I was friends with Tamra I would have been a lot more supportive of her, but the truth is Alexis’ own insecurities have caused her to change her thoughts towards me.  Before I was friends with Tamra, Alexis wouldn’t of ever questioned my intentions with these kind of things or be so sensitive.  I am confident that I have remained the same person because my past record proves that I have always been honest and straightforward with her and all my friends, even if what I have to say they don’t like, it’s just who I am. I refuse to be fake. 

Alexis on the other hand clearly states this episode that she would have never told me about it if she got offered the job and if they kept calling her. Well this is the main difference between Alexis and I and why I have pulled away from her. I am not the kind of friend that sugar coats stuff or is not honest with you. Friends should be able to tell each other anything. I have found Alexis not being honest with me about things that seemed silly to keep from me. She even hired a very close friend of mine that I introduced her too once without even telling me, it’s stuff like this that is just shady.  As this season unfolds you will start to see her take heat for being fake and phony and not telling the truth even when necessary at times.  If most of us are experiencing this same thing when dealing with Alexis, can we all be wrong? Isn’t that exactly what Alexis said to Vicki when we all addressed Vicki at lunch in San Francisco a few years back?

So here’s the real scoop: It’s true that I got offered the same job and wasn’t able to do it because I had too much going on at the time. I would have never felt the need to tell her that except for the awkward situation I found myself in which I will explain in a moment.  However for her to challenge that and say I am lying is ridiculous. What good reason would I have to lie about that?  I guess I should have brought the e-mails to prove it to her. It’s funny to me that she would accuse me of lying about that when after all she is the one that was lying about being a news anchor!

I wouldn’t bring that up to someone if I didn’t have a good reason too. The harsh truth is that I found myself in an awkward situation because they continued to ask if I still had interest in the job after they had already hired her. They can deny it all they want to Alexis. It makes sense that they would because why would they burn that bridge in case they couldn’t find anyone else, but unfortunately that is the truth.  I felt bad I knew this and wanted to find a nice way to let my friend know because I thought it sucked for her. I knew I needed to be honest with her and was looking for the right time to tell her. I remember feeling this yucky feeling in my gut wondering how do you tell someone you care about something like this without hurting them?

I believed I was being a good friend by not reconsidering taking the job and trying to find a way to kindly tell her what was going on, Unfortunately lesson learned with her and next time I will just blurt it out that they alluded they weren’t happy with her performance at the time, so that way I am not accused of trying to steal her thunder or not being happy for her.

Why is it so hard for some  to realize that the people in your life that truly are your friends are going to be honest with you when you need it the most, not tell you what you want to hear.  If you want that kind of friend then I am the wrong friend and I’m ok with that. I am not mean unless I need to be, however I am honest and upfront, and I always try to be nice with my delivery, which I sincerely thought I was doing here. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

So Alexis asks me for advice about her Fox 5 segment and as she is loading the computer I thought this would be the perfect time to tell her. I obviously have to find a way to open the conversation about this and so I say ,"I'm so glad you got to do this cause they asked me to do it; so I'm glad that out of anyone you are the one that got the gig!"

Now I ask you, how is that statement in any way me portraying I am not happy for her, or attempting to be mean or malicious in telling her that? And more so I would think she would rather know that from me than from someone down the grapevine and then question me why I never told her. As the saying goes damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Unfortunately my demeanor does change when Alexis reacted so negatively and pompous back by saying "Well they offered me my own segment" as if they would have never offered me that, which quite frankly pissed me off knowing what I knew at the time.  I quickly realized she took what I said as competition. Then I had Peggy flashbacks! I thought oh boy here we go again. I felt like maybe Peggy was right when she said it's like she always wants to pick a fight, find fault with what you are saying or make it a competition.  That is why I remarked back quickly with "yeah, they offered me the same segment and they keep calling me about it". Now, that was not the way I was intending that information to be delivered and I’m sad it came out that way, but unfortunately it was a natural reaction to someone being snarky and pretentious back to what I knew was good intentions to begin with.  

I have been forgiving of these types of responses from her in the past, but this time I just was like what the heck? I knew I was trying to help her but her statement back to me just rubbed me the wrong way. Like I said I am sorry if she took offense to what I said and maybe I could have found a better way to deliver the information looking back now, but bottom line she should know where my heart is. This is the second time she is questioning our friendship this season and blaming it on my new found friendship with Tamra, which is bull honkey!  To me it's her own insecurities coming out. We saw it with Peggy and now she is doing it with me.

When Alexis claims she felt like it was hard for me to be happy for her, that really hurt me.  I am not and will never be that kind of friend, and thus the reason you see me start to distance myself from her. I am afraid she is becoming delusional and insecure about something that simply is not the case. Does she really think she is that great that now I am suddenly jealous or not happy for any potential success? Wow if so she thinks very highly of herself.  She continually is questioning me, challenging me, and having unnecessary competition with me and that I will not do with so called friends. Did she forget I had already passed on doing the gig… no competition here.

If you notice when Alexis asked me for advice I gave her some positive points and then some advice about maybe getting a hosting coach so she could get better at her new venture. If I was really not that happy for her, or not a good friend then why would I suggest that to her?  I would have just taken her job and not offered sound advice. I obviously was giving her pointers I had learned from my 3 years of experience booking gigs and my own personal hosting classes.  If she wanted me to lie and tell her she was perfect then she shouldn’t have asked me for advice because I’m not fake like that.

Now on to other things, I’m so grateful all the girls came to Vegas to support my Performance, it meant a lot to me!  For a moment it was a nice change of words to hear Vicki say to my face that she was proud of me for something and not tearing me down for once. Unfortunately it wasn’t authentic because as we see she was still trashing me in her interviews regarding my work ethic, or what I choose to do in my life, so maybe she was only doing it because everyone else was being so supportive in that moment.  She even admitted her true intentions by saying “be nice it confuses them” which to me just goes to prove that she is very two-faced and is willing to say whatever helps her in that moment.  Sad because I just wish it was real with her.  I want to like her and get along with her but she makes it so difficult sometimes. Either way seeing all the girls getting along and having fun is always a nice change of pace.

Obviously I was nervous about my performance because I have never done it before.  I think anyone in my position would have felt the same anxiousness.  I had never had to work with a mic that had a gate on it. Which means the second you pull it one milometer away from your mouth it drops your vocals.  I had only a couple hours till the performance and there were so many new things to learn that I had never done before. Obviously I was stressed because I could hear my vocals struggling and I was not happy about it.  Oh well! I got one shot to do this and I was going to just go for it!

The outfits were to die for, the opportunity was amazing, and I am just so blessed I got a chance to do this! I have always wanted to be a performer in some way, not necessarily singing but just performing!  I light up on stage and enjoy it so much! I know there are a lot of haters out there but I don’t care, it took a lot of gumballs (as the girls said) to even get up there and I am damn proud of that!  I also have just as many supporters rooting me on and I appreciate it so much! It’s hard to put yourself out there every week for the world to have an opinion on everything you do, but this is me, this is my life and I am living it to the fullest. I do not want to be 90 and look back with any regrets because I was afraid or scared about what the bullies would say!  I will have stories for a lifetime with everything I am doing and getting to pursue! I have worked very hard for everything I have created in my life and will continue to do so.  Which leads me to my next point.

When insecure woman like Vicki make comments that I have many jobs but am not a master in one, I just have to laugh.  It’s ridiculous to me that two years ago she couldn’t stop saying “no one works but her” (which was BS) but now her motto is “I work too much” What is it already? She is another delusional one; she actually has attempted to do even more ventures than me, and a lot to no avail. Can you say Vicki Lynn Jean, Celia eyelash product, distributing robes at one point, her book, Dioxin weight loss product, now Wines by Wives. She is no different than me except some of her ventures have failed and she is all over the map with her projects. On the business side, my goals have been very focused and clear since I have been a part of this show. I have remained in the beauty and fashion spaces and been very successful with The Gretchen Christine Collections.  Something apparently Vicki cannot stand so she has to trash it every chance she gets.  On a more personal and creative side I have had two successful songs on I-tunes and have a new one being released soon called Unbreakable (that I can’t wait for you all to hear!) Because of this I got an opportunity to perform with Pussycat Dolls in Las Vegas and so I went for it! All these dreams and business ventures have happened because of hard work, and dedication, not because I just sit around and pick my ass. She said I am clawing my way to the top on WWHL the other night, well I guess I’m flattered that she thinks I am at the top! LOL. I have learned from my parents when you are at the top of your game everyone will try and tear you down! It’s too bad.

Tamra having concerns about Brooks is simply being a concerned and good friend. Tamra is like me in the sense that we are not fake. Our delivery might be way different, but we tell it like it is. Vicki unfortunately is once again being a hypocrite in this situation. She is angry with Tamra about voicing concerns regarding Brooks and some red flags she see, all the while Vicki was very vocal in her opinions in regards to Simon and what he was doing to Tamra. Why is it always ok for Vicki but never for anyone else?  Tamra cares enough to be honest and real and I value that in a friend.

I love how supportive Terry is of Heather and her career choices. I am so happy for Heather and her decision to get back to doing what she loves! We all should do that!  Slade is the same exact way with me and I am so fortunate to have such a supportive partner and love in my life.  

Most importantly I would like you all to remember to go after your dreams no matter how big or small! Life is too short!  Don’t let fear, the bullies in life, or excuses get in the way! Just decide to just go for it!  If I allowed all the bullies to keep me from my goals and dreams I wouldn’t be where I am today!

I continue to add new products to my site www.gretchenchristine.com for all the wonderful customers that keep asking for more from my Collections!  I enjoy so much talking with each of you every week on facebook and twitter and adore and appreciate the fans more than you guys know!

Pussycat Dolls performance next week! I’m scared, but excited! Be sure to tune it to find out what happens!

xoxoxo Gretchen Christine
04/26/2012

Keep Your Nose Clean

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Hi Guys! Well this week was all about "glamping" and it looked like a blast! I was so bummed I didn't get to go on this trip because, believe it or not, I grew up camping! I went to the desert and rode dirt bikes every single weekend and camped in a motor-home or a tent! So this would have been right up my alley!

I also really wanted to go to support Alexis and the trip she had planned but it was three days prior to my performance and I knew I would just be talking the whole time (which is exactly what the doctor ordered me not to do). I could feel tension between Alexis and I brewing ever since I decided to make amends with Tamra and I really wanted an opportunity to talk with her and try and figure out why. I'm sad we never got that chance.

I was disappointed to hear Vicki blame her ill feelings towards Alexis on Tamra. Vicki knows full well she has never been a fan of Alexis and had talked plenty of crap on her. Actually if you remember Tamra and Alexis were friends when they first meet, but Vicki had nothing but mean and judgmental things to say about her (and Jim) and was always in Tamra's ear. Maybe it was the other way around and Vicki rubbed off on Tamra. I didn't exactly hear Vicki defending her new friend Alexis when Tamra referenced her as dumb in the kitchen. Either way if Alexis and Vicki want to make amends I think that is great, I just hope it is for the right reasons.

It's hard to see Heather and Alexis still butting heads. I was hoping this trip might help a little with the tension, but I guess I am not surprised. Heather is just a matter of fact girl and calls it like she sees it. She doesn't really allow you to get away with anything on her watch! But I actually like it when she does it to me, because I like people that just give it to me straight -- even if I don't like what they are saying sometimes. I know she means well, but I can see how the delivery seems strong if you don't know her that well.

Of course, it makes me sad that it took Vicki going through the "what if" with Briana to have an "Aha" sympathetic moment towards me and Slade (about me losing Jeff and Slade suffering daily with the fact this his child is dying of cancer, while she accuses him of being a bad father).

When I heard Vicki say that she owed me an apology I almost fell out of my chair! I literally hit rewind eight times to make sure I heard it right! I couldn't believe this was happening! Now two of the women that absolutely despised me (Vicki and Tamra) were saying they are sorry to me this season! Yeppppiee! My parents were right when they said, "always keep your nose clean and live with integrity and it will come back to you."

It did make me laugh though when Alexis said, "Leave it to Vicki to negotiate her apology." LOL. Well either way, thank you Vicki for saying you're sorry. It truly means a lot to me.

After choosing not to go glamping you see me working with a vocal producer that Robin Antin recommended. Obviously I was still beyond upset and disappointed that my voice was not 100 percent. I was having a very hard time hitting the high notes in the song and at this point it was only three days before the performance! I started to cry in the car and got very emotional about it. I am sure you all can understand. At one point or another in life, everyone has had a great opportunity but known you just aren't at your best, and you feel hopeless and so disappointed that you can't do better. I am a perfectionist and I wanted to do as best I could!

I know I have only had a couple of voice lessons, and I certainly know I am not Christina Aguilera or anything, but I still wanted to do well and not let anyone down that believed in me and my talent -- like Robin Antin. Look bottom line, I would not have been booked for this if I couldn't sing a lick. Someone like Robin is not going to put her name on the line like that. Obviously she heard me sing before. She actually surprised me and put me on the stage with Matt Goss when I went to his show in Vegas months before, and later admitted it was a test to see if I could really sing. Above is a pic of me and Matt Goss on stage.

She felt I had strong enough vocals to book me for a Live Las Vegas show with her Pussycat dolls! So I didn't want to blow it, but I had to start to accept the fact that my voice wasn't 100 percent and I could only do what I could do!

You see Slade ask me in the car if I want him to just cancel the performance, so I have a big decision coming up! Do I go for it or do I chicken out? Be sure to stay tuned to watch and see what I decide to do!

On another note all your favorite Gretchen Christine Cosmetics Products you have been requesting are back in stock at my website (GretchenChristine.com) and we have added some great new colors to the line as well! Also I am excited to share that I am the official spokesperson for my favorite Haircare line HBL (Health, Beauty, Life). Some of you have commented on the commercial you have seen run during Housewives where I am talking about HBL being my secret to great hair and have requested where to purchase it. So I have now made it available through my website, so it is easy to find! There is a ton of instructional videos of how each product works so it is easy to figure out what is best for your hair type! Hope this helps!

Thanks for the unconditional love and support every week through my Twitter and Facebook accounts! I invite you to join my wonderful list of friends!

xoxoxo Gretchen Christine  
04/12/2012

The Delivery

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Sorry I have been MIA for a couple of weeks, things have been just so crazy lately and I have been traveling a lot for work. However I do receive and read all your messages every week through social media and my personal website so thank you for the support and love you continue to show me every week!

I will recap how I feel about some things from the last couple of episodes here:

So grateful Briana does not have cancer! It's one of the worst things as a parent to learn about your child. God knows Slade knows that all too well. Unfortunately seeing this footage reminds me all too well what a hypocrite Vicki is -- again. She was so quick to judge me and say, "Why am I choosing to be on a show when I have someone that is sick in my life?" Yet, once again, when the tables are turned it's OK for her. I just don't get her consistent hypocrisy. Even more so, I just don't get how she can never see it herself. I would never wish what Slade and I have been dealt on any one. However as a human, I do find it difficult in these moments to find empathy for people like Vicki who have been so mean and vile to me when I was going through the worst time in my life when I was losing Jeff. She always expects everyone to stop and feel bad for her, but she has never once shown empathy towards Slade or my situations, only judgment and false accusations. However my parents taught me differently, so I will not treat her the way she treated me back then.

I think taking a helicopter to L.A. was fabulous and very "Fancy Pants" of Heather! She did not let me down! I think it's great that Heather wants to start a business with her friends, but I also know from experience that it can be very challenging. It can sometimes ruin friendships, so you have to weigh If that is worth it. I do however hate how Vicki is always so quick to put down everyone's ideas and never is empowering to other women. Why is that? She has talked poorly about so many of our business ventures; for instance mine, Lynn, Alexis, Jeana (as a realtor), and now Heather. I just find that so discouraging. I believe in lifting woman up and empowering them. You can educate and give advice without being demeaning. Vicki saying "these women just want a place to hang out so they can spend their husband's money" was not nice and unnecessary.

Obviously plastic surgery is very serious and not something to take lightly, because as you can see from Alexis' surgery there are a lot of negative side effects and pain. I am sooo glad I never decided to get my nose done, sinus issues or not. It just does not look fun! I sincerely did not think Alexis needed to get her nose done. I think she looked beautiful before and the bump gave her some personality. I even thought I had convinced her not to do it last summer!

Now for the record and for all those who keep wondering why I didn't come see Alexis right away, it's because when I called I was told she was not up for it yet! I am a little bothered that, even after Alexis and I discussed this issue, she continues to act like she is all butt-hurt about it. It makes me wonder why she is playing that card, when it we have already discussed exactly what happened those first few days. This continues to be a reoccurring theme with her this season and the reason for some issues between us. So here is exactly how it went down: Alexis went into surgery Monday, and she did not want company that day, as I had asked her before her surgery if she would be up for it and she said probably not until a couple days afterwards. Then I called the day after her surgery (Tuesday) and spoke with Jim because she wasn't doing well. I asked if I could come over, and he said she was not up to it yet. Then Wednesday I already had prior work appointments all day (because I wasn't just sitting around waiting to get a phone call as to when I could come over to see her). So finally on Thursday is when I was "allowed" and when my schedule allowed me to come over.

I am not sure why the hell I even have to explain this one, but I guess I do because I am annoyed that I keep getting challenged as to if I am a good enough friend or not do to this. Last time I checked, I didn't see anyone else show up to visit either Tamra or Alexis after their surgeries (bearing gifts mind you). Remind me, how is that being a bad friend again? And even more so, does it matter what day it is? Shouldn't it be the thought and effort that counts? Since when does your level of friendship get judged on this kind of scale? I feel like this kind of behavior and cattiness is very childish and high school drama like. As you will see, I just don't want friends like that anymore in my life. A true friend would just know where my heart is. If they constantly challenge it, after a while you get over it. I have very close girlfriends from high school and college who I'm lucky if I see once every six months, and the quality of our friendship has never wavered, nor have they ever challenged that friendship.

The mud run was a blast and it was a great and different idea from Tamra! I was super bummed that I could not finish, because I just love things like that! I grew up riding dirt bikes and being a tomboy so that was right up my alley! Slade was such a sweet guy to carry me across the finish line and stay behind to take care of me, he always says to me "never leave your wing man." I love that man!

Now to this week's episode:

Heather saying it's never good for a friendship to talk about one's mate seems absolutely true! However how does one let a friend know if they have concerns about the person they are dating without hurting their feelings? What responsibility do we have as friends to point out some red flags? I have loving wonderful friends that have done that for me in the past, and I am grateful they did. I think it's all in the delivery.

When I see Brooks eating with Vicki it made me extremely weary watching him ask Vicki about all her assets and what she is walking away with. Something just seemed off to me about that. Again, was it in the delivery? I really like Brooks and he has been nothing but sweet to me, but I have to agree with Tamra that something is just a little too perfect with everything he says and does. I've had those kinds of people come in my life when I was the most vulnerable, and it is scary how someone can take advantage of you when you are in a weak place. It concerned me with Brooks and later on this season you will see me address my concerns face-to-face...

Speaking of Brooks and Vicki I would not be human if I didn't point out how unbelievable it was to me that Vicki said "Brooks is a consultant and can make his own hours." Isn't that exactly how I explained what Slade's job was? Once again how is it OK when it's Brooks but, when it's Slade he is a dead-beat and needs to get a job? And for the record Slade does have a flipping job for the nine hundred millionth time! So please ladies stop making false statements about that. For goodness sakes, I guess we have to show them his paystubs every month for them to believe it!

Alexis doing her segment for Fox Five is super hard to watch. Yikes! I was actually a little uncomfortable for her and wanted her to be doing better, but I also know how nerve-racking it can be to do anything new. I actually came over and watched some of the segment with her and gave her the advice to go to a hosting coach to help craft that skill better. Live TV is hard no matter what way you slice it! You have to give her kudos for just going for it! However leave it to Alexis to make me laugh out loud when she said she "I'm using both brains." I didn't even know we had two brains.

Now we get to my singing segment. Quite honestly for as bad as my vocals were I don't think I sounded that horrible. I know, I know you all are going to tell me how much I sucked and that I shouldn't quit me day job, but I don't care. Quite frankly it took guts to even allow cameras to film this whole process and the trials and tribulations I went through for this performance.

Look, I know I am not a trained singer, nor do I claim to be Christina Aguilera. I simply was offered a great opportunity and I went for it, and that is a lot more than most can say! I could of chickened out and walked away knowing I would get ridiculed by some and that you would see my worst most vulnerable moments, but I choose to stick it out and allow you to see the good, bad, and the ugly.

I had definitely damaged my vocal cords yelling at Vicki and I even went to Dr. Nasseri in Beverly Hills, who if you are a professiona musicianl (including Miss Kristin Chenoweth) you will more than likely know exactly who this man is. He has worked with the top and helped them heal their damaged vocal cords. He confirmed that I had damaged them pretty bad, and was actually very lucky I didn't rupture them. He also said during that exam that he could tell that I was the real deal and had some pipes on me. This coming from a renowned doctor with every album under the sun hung on his office walls. I wish the cameras had been there for that! However I have to say that the funniest part of that whole scene is when they show the dog squealing at the end as if he was right outside the door! However I did laugh at that one!

Now to the bowling party! Oh boy! Many of you have sent me a lot of sweet messages about this and said I handled myself with class and grace and I truly appreciate that because that was a very difficult night for me. I was so torn between being there for my friend and also knowing that she was not letting it go when she needed to. Vicki saying that I sent Sarah over to her is ridiculous and just goes to show that Vicki always thinks the worst of me. I love Sarah and I know she meant well. She was having a hard day and probably shouldn't have come that night. I seriously have never seen her like she was that night. That was not my normal friend. I was disappointed in the way it all went down, and no matter what I did I felt like I could not win in that situation.

Ultimately, I am just relieved I took the high road, stayed calm, and did not allow any of it to escalate. I had to focus on what my priorities were (my performance) and I could not let another petty fight like that cause me more grief.

The part that is most mind-boggling to me in the entire scene is when Slade is the only one that comes over to help Vicki up after she fell. Finally you get to see a glimpse of the real Slade! He is always like this with woman from what I have experienced in the three years of being with him. The only time I have ever seen him be different than that towards a woman is when these women attacked him over and over again claiming horrible things about who he is as a father. That would push any man who adores his children over the edge. There is only so much one is expected to take. You can't keep dishing it out and be surprised when it comes back at you.

Slade is an extremely courteous man and always has been with every single woman in my immediate life. All my very close friends adore him and constantly rave to me how lucky I am to have such a great guy. My mom and my grandma adore him as well, so how bad can he actually be if all the people in my life say he is a keeper? These women seem to be the only women that have something bad to say about him -- not to mention that I get a lot of people questioning me. But what I find so funny about it is that they always preface it with "you are such a smart intelligent woman." If you really believe that then you know I wouldn't be with a man unless he treated me right and was good to me. Finances are not the key to happiness. Being in love with your best friend and having a partner that supports, adores, and loves you like you have never been loved before is what is most important. I appreciate that you guys think you know what is best for me, but you actually don't and you certainly don't get to see the full story in the short five minutes you see of Slade every week. So please stop trying to convince me that he is not right for me, because it will not work and you are wasting your breath! It's been three years and it hasn't worked yet. If you haven't noticed I am deathly loyal and will have someone's back to the death if they deserve it.

Again, a lot of you keep telling me in these posts below that I am "smart and intelligent," so remember that when you continue to see the decisions I make about everyone in this group throughout this season. You might not see all the reasons behind my decisions and wonder why at times, but know that I am smart and intelligent and can see through the BS. I am sure by the end of this season most of you will too.

Always enjoy talking with you guys on Twitter.com and Facebook.com. If you haven't already, I invite you to come join my pages so we can talk! Also, all new Gretchen Christine make-up is coming in this week for all of those that have been waiting for it! We have some great new Bling available as well on the site! So be sure to check it all out!

Till next time!
xoxoxo Gretchen Christine
03/14/2012

A Hypocrite

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Whoa! This was quite the episode! Such an emotional roller coaster ride! Obviously a lot comes to a head in this episode, so please forgive me in advance if my blog is long. As I said in my last blog, this was the night that completely changed the dynamic of the group.

First of all, I want to say thank you to all the fans for the amazing and consistent support these last few years. I appreciate how sophisticated and intelligent the audience is when it comes to the truth. I believe I made some pretty valid, concise, and factual statements this episode, but I will recap some of them here.

As most of you know this fight between Vicki and I has been three years in the making. Obviously I am beyond upset in this episode, and I apologize for so many bad words being used. I hate seeing myself get pushed to that place. Many of you have messaged me that you understand why, that I had every reason to be so upset, and that I should have done this a long time ago with some of these woman. I appreciate that, but I still am disappointed that I allowed her to get me to that point.

Vicki started it all a few years back by claiming Slade was a deadbeat dad for the same exact reason her own boyfriend actually went to jail... for falling behind on child support. Please take notice that Slade has never gone to jail for this issue, which proves that Slade has always made some sort of payment. You don't go to jail unless you just completely stop paying and don't care. I will once again state the facts and the truth here:

Slade has always paid something; unfortunately after he hit hard financial times (once his son got sick and the economy went to hell) he could no longer make the same large payments based off a much higher salary.

Slade went to court and filed a modification three years ago. Unfortunately the media likes to perpetuate lies, and obviously so do some of my cast members. Gratefully after three years of fighting with his ex in court, the court granted his modification just a few weeks ago to match his current income.

Slade is working very hard to catch up on any back debt that is outstanding based on the arrears being adjusted from the modification. Moreso he refuses to allow me to help him with it -- something I greatly respect him for.

And just for the record Slade does have a job, even though these women want to continue to say he doesn't. Slade does NOT work for me and never has! He has simply helped me with my businesses as any good partner would! Goes again to prove they have no clue as to what they are talking about.

Ironic thing is Vicki literally says in this episode "everyone falls behind sometimes"? Well if that is the case then why would she automatically claim that Slade is a deadbeat father but that didn’t apply to her boyfriend?

Bottom line Vicki's rules apply to everyone but herself. She is what you call a hypocrite. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't even her own daughter call her out on this (on the way to surgery) "Nothing is ever about anyone else but my mom." Who I am as a person is inclined to feel sorry for Vicki and whatever she is going through at that time, however a person can only cry wolf so many times before you no longer believe them or feel sorry for them. I have noticed that whenever Vicki is going through a hard time we are all suppose to stop and feel sorry for her, but low and behold if anyone else is dealing with a sick child (Slade) or a sick fiancé (me) or something difficult, it doesn’t seem to matter to her or what she says about them.

This fight starts because Vicki says "you think it’s funny to make fun of someone?" I was like is she kidding me? Slade made the very valid point that Vicki made fun of Jim by calling him a "smelly troll" and called Alexis "white trash."

Then she says it's not the same thing to call someone ugly versus calling someone a deadbeat dad! She is absolutely right! It's not the same thing. Slade stating that the news references that she looks like Miss Piggy at a comedy club meant for comedy is completely different then claiming Slade does not care for his child and is a bad father on a international television show meant to bully, attack and challenge his character as a parent. Once again it's OK for her to make statements about other's looks or character but when someone dishes it back to her, she says "how dare them"? That's BULL HONKEY if you ask me!

Isn’t the saying do onto others as you would like them to do unto you? Well honey that statement just came true for you!
I also found it hilarious when Vicki was so upset about the 300 people at the Improv that Slade made a joke about Vicki too. I literally wanted to scream "Really!!! What about the 380 million viewers worldwide that you said something to about Slade and his character as a father?" Sometimes I just wonder where this woman gets off saying these kinds of things.

The underlying part of this fight was her claiming we had no clue what it is like to have a sick child. She was claiming this because of what she was currently dealing with Brianna. What is it with these women that they think just because I haven't popped out a kid between my own two legs, I have no clue what it is like to be concerned about a child? Last time I checked Slade's son has been sick for close to seven years now, and I have now had to embrace that fight with him for the last three. For her to say "I have no clue what it is like to have a sick child" made me crazy and almost want to jump across the table at her!!! Yes Slade's youngest son, who is terminally ill, is not my biological child, but by any means that does not make it less painful, sad, or hard for me. I mean is she saying that all parents who adopt a child or are step parents have no clue what it is like to have a child and love them as much as she does? That is just ludicrous and makes her sound unintelligible and selfish.
I could go on and on about the crazy that unfolded here, but I think I summed it up pretty clearly in my interview when I said, "You cannot expect to talk so much crap, bully someone for years and years, make up lies on an international platform about someone, and then be surprised when they say enough is enough and fight back, life does not work like that!"

A lot of you have been asking why I am not as mad at Tamra as I am at Vicki, because of what Tamra said last season (and especially at the reunion) about Slade. Well here is the main difference between the two of them. Tamra certainly knows how to dish it out, but she can take it too. You didn’t hear her crying and saying "How dare Slade?" because she knew she has dished it out to him as well. She knew last season after the reunion that she had swung some pretty hard punches, and she even said she was sorry she went there and that she shouldn’t have been talking about things she knew nothing about at our first lunch together this season.

So the difference to me is Tamra has grown as a person. She has seen where she contributed to the situation and owns it, and does not make excuses for it. I value that, and that is part of the reason I have been able to move on with her.

Now this brings us into the next saga of the night: Alexis and her nose surgery.

Tamra and I were talking about her going into surgery on Monday for her breast reduction (the bunko party was on Saturday night) that's when I said "oh that's funny Lex is going into surgery on Monday too."  Then Tamra said for what? I said for her sinuses, and Tamra said you mean for a nose job, and I said, "Well I think she is also getting the bump taken off, but she is going in for her sinuses."  Tamra then came to her own conclusions that Alexis was not being 100 percent honest and wasn't owning that she was getting a nose job as well.

As you saw, I kept confirming with Tamra differently. This is when all hell broke loose.

I could not believe the fight that ensued. It was crazy! I mean for goodness sake's were we really fighting about a nose job? How ridiculous was that? To me Alexis became very insecure and defensive. However I didn't think it was appropriate for Tamra to say her nose was big (therefore I kicked her under the table signaling that she needed to back down).

Now remember I just had the most emotional and crazy fight with Vicki, and I certainly did not want to get into any more fights that night, so I allowed Alexis, Tamra, Heather, and Terry to fight it out (and for the record Terry did not know we were discussing Alexis' sinuses) I already communicated to Tamra several times that it wasn't just a nose job, so I know I defended Alexis. Then Alexis stepped in and was handling herself just fine, at that point it was her fight to fight not mine.

Unfortunately, this is the night the dynamic between Alexis and I changed. I was very hurt by her actions towards me. She started accusing me of not having her back. I tried to tell her 80 times that I told Tamra she was having her sinuses done, even as Tamra keep saying you're lying, but Alexis just did not want to believe it. I couldn't understand why?

After she continued to berate me about this in the limo, I realized this was not about me at all because not only did I defend her with Tamra but I also have never given her a reason to believe differently up to this point. Peggy was the friend who gave her reason to doubt if she had her back, not me. I felt like just because I had now become friends with Tamra, Alexis automatically thought I had turned on her, like Alexis believed Peggy did when she became friends with Tamra. That was hurtful. My friendship with Tamra had nothing to do with my friendship with Alexis, and I would never allow Tamra to influence my feelings towards Alexis. Alexis' own actions towards me are what changed my feelings.

What I find most ironic about Alexis being so upset with me is that she sat there completely silent while I was in a fight with Vicki. Why is it that I had to get in the middle of her fight with Tamra but she could sit silent in my fight with Vicki? I know for a fact that Alexis thought Vicki was being hypocritical because we had talked about it several times, so why wasn't she standing up to Vicki and having my back? I actually stood up for Alexis to Tamra! Alexis also says this episode that she has always had my back when it came to Tamra. I must be missing something here. I never felt like when she would say "Tamra has good points and you have good points" that she was really having my back. That was more of staying neutral and not getting involved. So when I decide to try Alexis' method this time and stay neutral I'm all of a sudden not having her back? I felt like I couldn’t win here.

Here’s what I know for sure. If a friend asked me to not tell anyone about their surgery or whatever else they wanted to keep between me and them then I would never go back on that. I would always have their back and keep whatever they wanted private, private. That's what friends do. Just because we are on TV doesn’t mean we have to share things we would rather keep private. However that was not the situation here, Alexis chose to have her operation filmed for the world to see and she has only talked about wanting to have a nose job in the past with us girls and on screen. It sucks that she is being scrutinized for her reasons now, however in all fairness to everyone questioning her she has never talked about her sinuses, even to me, until a few months before the surgery.

Obviously it was very sad to see Vicki having to take her daughter into surgery not knowing what the outcome was going to be. That is the worst feeling in the world that I do not wish that upon anyone. Slade has had to see his young child go into open brain surgery 11 different times. It is not a good feeling wondering if they are going to wake up better or worse.

I empathize with what Vicki was going through with her daughter even though I don’t have any children of my own, because no matter whom it is, if it is someone you love it is scary and painful. I was in the room with the doctor when Jeff was diagnosed with cancer, I was his full time caretaker administering meds, take care of his pick line, and sitting by his hospital bed on a daily basis for nine months, and I had him die in my arms. NO ONE can tell me I have no idea what it is like.

Thanks again for all the love and support. I just love hearing from you all.

Till next week!
xoxoxo Gretchen Christine    
03/12/2012

How Much You Can Take

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Hi Guys,

Sorry it took so long to write this blog but I have been in Miami this past week filming for a new project! It was my first acting debut, so I have to admit it was nerve-racking but so much fun and I can't wait to tell you guys about the fun project once it is announced.

Now to this week's episode: Lots going through my mind! It is so difficult to have already lived through these moments and then have to re-live them every week. It stirs up so much emotion, hurt, frustrations, and, at times, pain. It is always so interesting to me to hear all the different points of view from the woman. It helps me see it from their point of view, and it also allows me to re-evaluate how and if I could have done things differently. I always want to be growing and evolving in my life and that is why I am always over- analyzing everything.

I enjoy reading your responses here, on Facebook, and Twitter, and most of them are positive, however I really want to address one thing in particular that seems to be a common theme I hear or read from the viewers. "Why is there always so much crap talking and gossiping?" Maybe the viewers (and possibly some 'Wives) don't realize this -- but this show is popular and you guys watch it because each of us has such strong opinions! If we all sat around, acted phony, and kissed each other's butts we wouldn't have a hit TV show. When you sign up for a show like this you are expected to have opinions and state how you feel about something openly and authentically, even though sometimes it is very hard.

Now all of us woman have our own ways of communicating those thoughts, whether it is in a mean, comedic, straight-forward, crazy, or non-authentic (aka phony) way. This is where I see the audience and their opinions come in. The common thread is interesting to me. Many of you write in, post blogs, and etc., that are just as opinioned as we are, yet you are judging us for being so? Isn't that what they call irony? Just food for thought while you are writing in every week.

I take pride in trying not to be a judgmental person in my life, and I have always been told that is one of my best qualities. However please do not confuse judgment with opinion when you see me discussing others on this show. I cannot speak for all of us, but from my point of view that is something to help you understand me a little better. For example: I will and have never judged someone because their religion is different than mine, however if asked I will tell you why I believe my religion works for me and my life and why another person's religious beliefs do not work for me.

With that said the show starts out with Slade and I in the car talking about him wanting to pursue comedy. First and foremost let me be clear, I am and have always been a supportive, loyal, and encouraging partner to Slade when it comes to anything he wants to do. Anyone that knows Slade and I well or  that we consider good and true friends would know that, and more so never question that. I have stuck by Slade for the last three years while he has been going through difficult times, and I have encouraged and been there for him in every venture he has wanted to do (even to the detriment of myself at times). I believe we all hit rough patches in life and we all need someone who believes in us, no matter what, and knows our potential even when it seems like the whole world is against us. Slade tells me almost every day that I have been that person for him. Slade is an amazing, intelligent, creative man who can do anything he puts his mind to. However I know my partner and sometimes he gets excited about something and then distracted from another thing. I want him to focus in on something that really makes him happy and pursue it with all his heart. Any good partner would encourage that. Sometimes I believe that is why God created partners, so they could help balance each other and keep the other encouraged and focused.

This leads me to the scene in my bedroom. First of all I never knew wearing a robe and my hair pinned up would create so many comments and questions. Thanks to everyone that says my hair would look great short! I have been considering that for a while now, but have been a little scared to do it, so this helped me want to take the plunge someday. Secondly the robe is by Betsy Johnson for everyone asking! This scene between Slade and I just cracks me up because it sincerely depicts our relationship to a T! Slade is always signing me up for things (that he knows will really help me in my career or push me to do something that I might have been too afraid to do) even before I agree to it. This again is similar to what I was talking about in the paragraph above. Having a partner that balances you, encourages you, and keeps you focused on things that can benefit you is great. I cannot wait for you guys to see this great opportunity with the Pussycat Dolls unfold this season! It was so exciting yet nerve-racking for me!

I actually was disappointed to see Heather tell Tamra about the comedy act, for no other reason than she said she wouldn't at the comedy club that night. I am a woman of my word and if I say I'm not going to do something I stick by that. I also don't feel that Heather disclosed the full picture to Tamra about that night. For the record, Slade completely made fun of himself. He addressed and made a joke about all the rumors about him not paying child support and that he is just leaching off of me. For goodness sakes, Slade had his mother come up on stage wearing a shirt that said "Don't be mean to my son. He is a douche" as a joke. Like I stated last week in my blog there was a lot of the comedy act that was not shown, but I can assure you that Slade was poking fun at almost everyone. Heather said he should of made fun of everyone across the board, however the show was entitled "Addressing Rumors." Therefore he included Jo, Laurie, me, Lynn, Tamra, Vicki and himself in his act. He addressed all the things that have been talked about him with those people. He did not include Alexis because she has never made up a rumor, talked about Slade, or been in a relationship with him, and obviously he didn't include Heather in his act because he didn't even know her at this point.

For the record, Slade is a wonderful dad who adores his children and would go to the depths of the world to help and protect them. The simple fact is he lost his job a long time ago and that set him back with his child support payments. Thankfully he had found a job again and is working hard to catch back up. He has been in court the last three years fighting against his ex to get a reduction of his payment because he does not make the same amount of money he was before. Thankfully just last week the court gave him that modification. Everyone in the country suffered from the financial downturn, and thousands lost their jobs. How is Slade any different? Every time I hear Tamra talking about Slade's situation as if she knows anything, I want to ask her, "Does that mean that Simon is a deadbeat father too?" I mean he lost his job and hit hard financial times and you guys lost your home? Would that qualify as a father that doesn’t take care of his children as well? Well I don’t believe so. I believe that is just life. Things happen. You do your best to get through those rough spots.

Moreover, I would never condone or date a man that did not make taking care of their children his highest priority. I want to have children one day with him. Why in the world would I even consider that if there was any chance of him not being a good parent or not caring about his children? That's just plain stupid. Slade's good name as a father has been drug through the mud by multiple sources, specifically when in the Season 5 reunion Vicki claimed he was not a good dad, and then Tamra jumped on that bandwagon. Those two have ridden that until the cows came home. They both had no business putting out there these horrible accusations they knew nothing about and have admitted to this. So my question is why do they still continue to do it?

Which leads me to the scene of Tamra and Vicki in her kitchen: I completely empathize with Vicki's emotions when you feel like you have hit rock bottom and nothing more can be put on your plate. I remember feeling so alone, lost, confused, overwhelmed, and like my spirit had been ripped away from me when Jeff passed away. All I wanted was my friends and family around me to help cheer me up or get me out of that horrible place of never-ending pain. It is the scariest feeling to think about someone you love so dearly having cancer or possibly not surviving it. I have felt all of this. I continue to feel it every day with Slade and his son who is battling brain cancer. My heart went out to Vicki and Brianna.

Then their conversation becomes about Slade. It just continues to break my heart to hear these two talk about Slade as if they know him, his heart, or who he truly is as a person. Unfortunately I feel like they are often so busy playing the victims and feeling sorry for themselves they forget that Slade is a person and has suffered great pain as well. They have made pretty horrible accusations about Slade on an international TV show.

Unfortunately once you put something like that out there whether it's the truth or not, there are going to be people who believe it's the truth -- which, in fact, effects us way beyond that one episode. I understand they were hurt by what Slade said at the comedy club and I agree that the way he went about it was not correct. However Slade has never been the type of person that is mean to just be mean. Obviously there was a reason behind what he did, I wish the woman could have some insight and realize that maybe because of the things they had put out there about him, he was finally fighting back.

When they said, "How dare a man talk about a woman that way?" I thought what does that have to do with anything in this situation? Are they saying it is OK for them just because they are women to say anything defamatory about Slade's character, but it is not OK for a man? It makes me wonder with that level of hypocrisy, why are they surprised at Slade’s behavior? I mean how much can one person take right? Vicki was just saying this earlier to Tamra "How much can one take?" and Tamra was saying she was going to have a nervous breakdown. Well maybe Slade finally had his moment of "how much more can one take," and had his nervous breakdown. He decided to stand up to the bullying and fight back.

This leads us to the Bunco Party -- whoa what a night! The outfits were outrageous and hilarious. Each of our costumes fit our personalities so well, and the men were such good sports! My limo ride with Alexis was interesting to watch. I did not realize how annoyed Alexis was with Tamra and me becoming friends at this point. I mean you can understand my confusion. I can't seem to please these girls. One minute all they want is Tamra and I to "just get over it" and make amends, then as soon as we finally do, Alexis and Vicki both have such negative reactions to it. I don't know about them but when I forgive, I forgive wholeheartedly, not half-heartedly. I have to just start from scratch and give that person another chance because that is the only way I can move on without being fake about it. If I didn't give it 100 percent again then I would be lying to myself and being phony, that is something I am not and will never be. So if Alexis and Vicki think it's all too fast, I’m sorry, but I didn't do this for them. I did it for my own spirit and healing. However, forgiveness does not mean you have to forget about what was done to you, but if you spend so much time on the "never forgetting" part you will quickly realize that it will block your ability to truly just forgive and move on. I was ready to just move on. Something Vicki and Alexis encouraged both Tamra and me to do.

Ricky pissed me off because I felt like he was trying to start crap when there was not a good reason too. We were all having a great time and I didn't think it was the time or place to try and create drama. Unfortunately, because he didn't want to drop it, the situation escalated when he started to make accusations about things he really didn't know about. Are you guys seeing a pattern here in this circle of friends?

I was really surprised to see Tamra stay so far removed from it all, and then see her actually come to my defense. All these little things are what continued to help build a stronger friendship between her and I, because I saw her following through with what she said she was going to do. She said she wasn't going to listen to the chatter anymore and she was going to come straight to me. She showed good faith by doing it with the phone call she made earlier and then again at the Bunko party. This is all part of the reason her and I began to get closer and closer, because the trust was being rebuilt, all the while the trust with others began to crack as you will see in next week's episode. I believe this was the night the whole dynamic of the group changed.

When Vicki said to me "Does Slade think it’s nice to be mean to people?”" I almost lost it! If that wasn't calling the kettle black, I don't know what is, but I regained my composure and said "You know what, you need to take this up with Slade." I really, really, really was trying to stay out of it and not be in the middle and let Slade fight his own battle, but as you can see from the previews of next week I just couldn't do it anymore. I got pushed to my breaking point. I think this next episode has been three years in the making of me finally breaking. Pull out the popcorn this is going to be good! LOL!

Love talking to you all every week on Facebook , Twitter and my personal website, GretchenChristine.com. Thanks for all the amazing support and sweet messages every week, it means the world to me.

Till next week

xoxox Gretchen Christine  

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